Tuesday, January 29, 2008

Survivor Windmill 'Speaks' of Night Battle Ordeal

NEWCASTLE, Australia - Detectives of Operation Boreas have had a major breakthrough and been able to finally 'speak' with the sole surviving windmill of the Breath of Life installation.

Inspector Auster told the international press conference assembled today that it had not been 'easy' - "As you may be aware Windmills don't speak in our language, rather they converse in a form of music, so we needed to bring in specialists to find out what this one was saying."

The musicians from the Hunter Wind Ensemble translated testimony from 'Windemere' to English for over 4 hours hours today. What emerged was a tale of tragic terror, and an insight into a hitherto unknown world of windmills.

At dusk on the evening of the 27 January 2008 they were set upon by large 'flying sharks' called 'coaliaths' who descended on the group of 60 odd art installations. Most of the windmills took flight, leaving their tails, much like lizards, as is also done in their species. They fly and scatter, similar to a dandelion's seeds when the wind or a person's breath blows the seeds off into the world. Some unfortunately did not make it, and were destroyed by the coaliaths.

The windmills are said travel the earth, in some cases for years, before sailing down to germinate more of their kind in what we call 'wind farms'.

Dr Albrecht of the University of Newcastle, an expert in such species, said this recent discovery was amazing, and would lead to greater understanding of the phenomenon.

"Words cannot describe my excitement" Dr Albrecht said. "To be now able to communicate with these lifeforms will help us to understand what they need in order to thrive." "I have also discovered that these species cause sickness then death to the 'coaliaths' that attack and eat them". Coaliaths are known to cause a medical condition known as 'solastalgia', or the 'feeling of homelessness while you're still at home'. They are also responsible for clawing out huge chunks of the landscape of the Hunter Region. "They have voracious appetites" Dr Albrecht said.

Evidence of Coaliath Investation

In the Newcastle Herald it was reported that over night these 'flying sharks' struck again on another art installation, unfortunately in this case the flat people had no means of flight at their disposal.

Investigations are continuing with another sighting over the Sydney Opera reported.

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